Opinion: Spying is Not the Answer to MySpace Predator Prevention

I spent my lunch glancing over a column that Larry Magid wrote for the Palo Alto Daily News regarding MySpace's recent feature additions to thwart online predators from conversing with your children. The article however consisted of little more than methods for parents to spy on their children. I must confess that I am not a parent myself, but you can either descredit me for not understanding parental responsibilities, or understand that as a result I can divorce myself from the emotional attachments that parents have regarding a safe operating environment for their children online.

Though the medium has changed, the message is no different than what it was when I was a child. Don't talk to stranges, get in strangers cars, or agree to meet strangers. If you haven't spoken explicityly with your child about the dangers inherent in any of these actions, don't blame someone else--take responsibility for your own parenting. That may sound harsh, but it's time to stop expecting technology to do your job as a parent. The results have been disasterous with V-Chips, an overzelous FCC, censureship, and confusing video game ratings, all in the name of protecting our children. If parents spent as much time speaking with their children as they did figuring out how to get technology to become a virtual guardian, a great deal of problems that MySpace is blamed for would be significantly reduced. How about this idea: Instead of searching for your child's profile, paying $6 for a service that monitors their profile, or otherwise spying on them, sit down with your child and create a profile with them. Explain the features and what is considered acceptable behavior and interactions. Just like TV or video games, time spent online should be limited, and content should be appropriate. Larry did have a good suggestion as well, and that is to be sure to add yourself as one of your child's friends.

There are literally dozens of ways to spy on your child from keyloggers to video survailance, and spyware. But, if you ever hope to establish a relationship of trust with your child, start by setting an example that does not include breeching their right to privacy. Also be conscious of the fact that your children are growing up with technology that you never before had access to, and they may know better than you how it works, or how to work around it. If they find out that you're spying on them, well, you can't very well blame MySpace for that now can you.